


Dreamflower (Shuake Fanfiction)

by httpsbean



Category: Akira Kurusu - Fandom, Goro Akechi - Fandom, Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal, Persona Series, Phantom Thieves - Fandom, gaming - Fandom
Genre: Akira Kurusu needs a hug, Akira/ Goro, Angst, Boys In Love, Cafe Leblanc (Persona 5), Depression, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Major Character Undeath, Persona 5 Protagonist is from Inaba, Persona 5 Spoilers, Persona 5: The Royal, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Post-Persona 5, ShuAke Confidant Week, Teen Romance, persona 5 royal spoilers, shuake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27956864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpsbean/pseuds/httpsbean
Summary: Kurusu Akira is mourning the death of Akechi Goro, who had passed away saving reality. The road to recovery isn’t easy, and he would love nothing more than to have him back; what he doesn’t know is that his dream isn’t at all impossible.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro & Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Shuake - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Holding On

//February 3rd, 20XX//  
“Hey,” a soft voice came from beside me, “you’ve been in bed all day. Maybe getting up would help you feel better?”

Morgana sounded... sympathetic. He was just trying to help, I knew this much. But, I couldn’t help but get a little pissed. 

“Stop acting like you know what’s best for me. You don’t.” I snapped, my back still facing him. 

I immediately regretted snapping; I opened my mouth to apologize, but a lump filled my throat. I made a noise that sounded like I was lightly punched in the stomach, tears started falling softly- almost as if they were too shy to show. 

Morgana sighed, “I’m worried about you, Akira. I don’t want you to do anything rash... but I see you need to be alone. I’ll go stay with Futaba for a couple of days, please remember to eat something,” his voice lowered, “If you need anything- anything at all- just call.” 

I could feel Morgana move as the bed slightly bounced back up, the springs making a rusty screech and his claws scraping the floor. I hugged the leather glove tighter to my chest, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. I wanted to scream, or at least receive a hug so tight that I will have forgotten what I was even sad about. 

No, nothing will ever help me forget, and that’s the worst part. I want nothing more than to just forget it all. The metaverse, Phantom Thieves, my persona, that goddamn cat and G- 

I stopped myself from finishing that thought. I wanted to remember him above it all. His hair as soft as silk, piercing eyes that you can get so easily lost in, and his smile that just- 

“Akira, I can hear you crying from downstairs, kid.” Sojiro called from the stairs. 

Creak, creak, creak...

I felt the bed dip again, “Do you uhh... wanna talk about it?” He asked in low mumbles. 

“No, I don’t.” I responded, cold as ice. 

Sojiro let out a long and desperate sigh. I can visualize him putting his hand to the bridge of his nose and shaking his head, even though I was facing away from him. 

Ding! My phone vibrated. 

It’s him. He texted me. He’s asked me to go out to listen to the jazz band, or go to the library and read beside the large glass window, or to take a stroll through the city. Like usual. I shot up, expecting- No, knowing there was a text from Goro. Everything’s okay, he’s alive and-

I frowned when I looked at my phone. 

Ryuji (just now)  
Hey, man! You hungry? What’dya say we grab a bowl or two of ramen? Huh?? Huh??😋🍜 

“Idiot,” I groaned, letting out another sob. I let my phone slip out of my hand, the other still holding onto the glove. Sojiro looked at the phone laying up on the bed. 

“Oh, is that the detective prince guy?” He asked looking at my wallpaper, “Akechi, right? Haven’t seen him in a while, that’s a great picture of you two. I wonder where he’s been...” Sojiro thought out loud, scratching his chin.

I looked at the picture. My left arm around him, my other holding up a peace sign to the camera while wearing a cheesy grin. Goro’s crossing his arms, his cheeks slightly pink. His redish-brown eyes are looking away, almost dramatically. His hair is ruffled, I had run my fingers through it moments before this was taken. 

And he’s smiling. 

I would give anything to see him smile again, but...

“He’s dead,” I croaked. I could see it all click into place in Sojiro’s mind. He looked down and put his elbows on his knees. 

“I’m sorry for bringing it up, kid. I...” he stopped, “I’m sorry.” 

//February 12th, 20XX//

I haven’t moved for days. I haven’t showered, I barely ate.

His face keeps popping up everywhere. 

I killed him. It’s my fault he’s dead. I killed him. I’m a murderer. 

I haven’t let go of the glove since we got back from the palace. If there’s one thing that I can do to make myself feel a little better- lying to myself and telling myself I’m a good person- it’s to keep our promise. 

I’ve been getting texts from everyone constantly, and each time I wholeheartedly believe it’s him. Yet each time, I am disappointed. It’s kind of terrible, I really do love my friends. It’s not that I don’t want to hear from them, It’s just that I’m setting myself up for a miracle. 

I’m a terrible person. 

“Hello Akira-kun!” A friendly voice called from the stairs. 

“Jesus, dude! It stinks in here! When was the last time you showered?” Another familiar voice. 

I didn’t turn over. My eyes hurt from crying for the past ten days. My head was throbbing. My throat was dry and scratchy. My hand was clammy and cramped from holding onto the glove all this time. 

“We haven’t heard from you in days, what’s going on?” Ann shuffled over to me. She grabbed my wrists and pulled me up from my curled position. She felt the glove in the palm of my hand and frowned. I held it tighter. 

“My dear, Akira. You look quite dreadful.” Yusuke dramatically sighed. I didn’t have the energy to give a response, or reaction for that matter. 

“Senpai... I’m so sorry.” Yoshizawa-san bowed. 

“We brought some curry, boss made it himself!” Haru offered. 

Curry; I love cooking curry for him. Me in the back of the kitchen while he rambles on about any topic. Whether it’s about the metaverse or his morning coffee, he always has something to say. I guess I just love the sound of his voice. 

Or... loved. 

Suddenly, my face felt wet. I didn’t realize I started crying, I tried burying my face into the sheets, but Ann pulled them off the bed. 

“No,” she said as she tossed them aside, “you don’t get to hide anymore.”

“Please, talk to us.” Makoto pleaded. 

They all patiently waited for me to say something, or at least look at them in the eye. After what felt like eternity, my lips slowly parted, “I killed him,” I choked. 

I felt the energy shift in the room. I decided to continue, “I had a choice. Whether to keep him here- alive- or to kill him. God, i’m such an idiot...” I buried my face into his glove. 

“You did the right thing, Akira,” Morgana reassured, “You know he would’ve been disappointed in you if you had let him live a lie, right?” 

“Yes, I-“ I raised my voice. Collecting myself once again, “Yeah... I know. But you know, he was just a kid. Like us. Longing for a purpose in life, figuring things out as he went. He acted like he had it all together,” I smiled roughly, “but I could see right through his disguise. He was just as scared as I was.” 

I thought for a moment, “the last things he felt were... fear and b-betrayal. That was all he had experienced his whole... life. I-I tried so... hard to-“ I got cut off my my own sobs. Yoshizawa sat beside me and gently rubbed circles on my back. I cried, and cried some more. They just watched, cried with me, but kept silent. 

“I love him.” I admitted, “and now I’ve... k-killed him. The one thing I lived for. I don’t d-deserve you all, or a-... anything. I should just...stay here and-“

“Just shut up.” A voice full of fury cut me off. We all looked over to Futaba, who was looking down at her feet. Her hands curled to fists, veins popping out on her wrists, “you ‘don’t deserve anything’? Are you serious?” She looked up at me, her eyes red and flooded. 

I opened my mouth, but was cut off again, “Do you remember what you said to me before? When I asked you all to change my heart?”

I thought back to those days, trying to recall my advice. Before I could go into deeper thought, she opened her mouth, “You told me that people come and go. Whether they leave, or get ripped away. My mother was ripped away from me, yet I told myself I killed her; that it was my fault. You told me that it is easy to blame yourself for losing those who are worth living for. That you will always say that you could’ve ‘done something’ or something of the sort. You fill your head with these... distorted what-ifs. But then you told me,” her angry expression deepened, “those dreams- those purposes- have no right to die with them. You find the truth. You still live for them. No matter the cost. You still love, you still believe, and you move on. You pick yourself back up and live again. Love again.

“You said it wasn’t easy,” she continued, “and it wasn’t. But I had you guys to help me through it all. And you have us,” she slammed her fist on the desk, knocking over the pencil jar, “so fucking stop. Look at you. You’re a mess. You look pale and sick. And your room is trashed. And you smell like shit. You don’t get to give me a reason for living then turn around and do the same shit,” she began sobbing, “So d-don’t... do this to me. To us... please... I-“ she choked; trying to compose herself, “I know exactly how you feel. I loved my mom. After she was killed, I put those said what-ifs in my head. But then you just get... sick of it. You realize that it’s wrong. Thats not what they would’ve wanted, or would’ve stood for. So don’t tell me you should sit here and rot. That’s not the same Akira I look up to. The Akira I know looks for the truth.” She finished, looking down. 

“What would he do.” Ryuji added, it didn’t sound like a question. 

I thought to myself a moment. What would he do? 

“He would-“ I began, “he would... live for me. For all of us.” 

The room smiled. Tears filling up each of their eyes. Yoshizawa stood up, reaching out a hand for me to grab. 

I hesitated. Am I ready for this? Am I ready to move forward and heal? After all, I have them. They will always be here for me, waiting for me to find the truth again. 

And Goro. He will always be there for me, as my reason for living. That will never change, and I want to live for him once again. He’s not dead, at least- not to me. 

I smiled, took her hand, and stood up. The room sighed in relief. 

“Hell yeah!” Ann cheered, hugging Haru. Haru was uncontrollably sobbing of happiness. 

“All right, dude. Let’s go!” Ryuji grabbed my arm. 

“Where? Go where?” I frantically asked. 

“The bathhouse, of course. To put it simply, my friend: you smell like horse shit.” Yusuke clarified. 

I laughed, it was the first time in a while that I had done that. 

“Wait,” I stopped them. I walked over to Futaba, still looking at the ground and crying. I wrapped my arms around her, telling her in that moment that I would be okay. 

“Thank you,” I said, “seriously. Thank you.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she pulled away, “dude you really need a shower,” She coughed. 

We all shared a laugh as I was dragged out of the attic. I took a deep breath as I put Goro’s glove in my back pocket and opened the door.


	2. Dancing With Your Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira spends his last moments in town at the jazz club Goro introduced him to. Still being haunted by memories, Akira seeks advice from Sojiro on how to move on.

//March 19th, 20XX//

The bar felt... lonely. I had gone there multiple days since, but today was different. Was it that I was leaving tomorrow? It must be. This is the last thing left I have of him; besides the glove, of course. 

The band began playing something familiar... I paused for a moment. 

Dreamflower. 

How could I forget— it’s our song. It played the first time He brought me here. 

//5 months prior//

“What’s this one?” I said, focusing onto the stage. 

“Ah,” he smiled, “Dreamflower. It is a 70s jazz classic.” 

Goro was thoroughly enjoying this. Not only because he took pride in the fact that he knew more on a subject than I did, but because I was enjoying it too. 

“It’s...” I began, trying to think of a word to describe such an art. 

“Lonely?” He finished. 

“Yeah! Exactly-“ I cut myself off, noticing my volume, “ahem... yes.”

He laughed; a light, wonderful sound... prettier than the music, but just as lonely. He covered his mouth with his fingers— shying away from showing his angelic smile. His cheeks blended into a rose pink, and his eyes closed tight. I could see his eyelashes... like soft rays of sunshine on his eyelids. 

“Is something wrong?” He asked, still smiling. 

I broke out of my trance. Fuck. “It seems you were staring,” he continued. 

I felt my face get hotter, “Oh, no. I was just...” my voice trailed off as he began to pull off his gloves. Each finger, individually and slowly. He didn’t take his eyes off of me, all the while I was feeling something different. He looked slightly more smug than before. Oh no. He stood up out of his chair, and walked over to me. Never breaking eye contact, he reached his hand out to me. 

I gulped and placed my hand in his. He softly pulled me closer to him, setting his other hand behind my back. I did the same, and he lead me into a slow sway. He rested his head on my shoulder, and closed his eyes. I looked down at him and leaned into his ear. 

“I think this is my favorite song.” I whispered, softly leaning my cheek into his. 

I felt him smile against my cheek, “Yes,” he responded, “quite fascinating.” 

//Present day// 

“I love this piece,” and old man whispered to me, “isn’t it so beautiful?” 

“Yes,” I responded, “quite fascinating.” I smiled at him. The wrinkly man smiled back at me through his thin lips, his thinning white hair covered by a red fedora. He was slightly hunched, and used a wooden cane to get closer to me. 

“I have seen you around here often, kid. It’s nice, I must admit, to see a young man enjoying the great jazz culture,” He laughed. 

“Well,” I tried to keep my spirits up, “don’t thank me. My... uh- friend used to bring me here a lot. He knew a lot about jazz music.”

The old man nodded, “Now, that friend of yours is something special. Keep ‘em close.” He waved, slowly wobbling away. 

If I would’ve known that things would be the way they are now at the time he first brought me here, I would’ve told him I loved him. If I could go back in time and just... 

No. What’s done is done. No going back now, no point in dwelling on the past. I picked up his glove from the table and left. 

———————————

“You’re awfully late,” Sojiro grinned, “You should get some rest. Big day t’morrow.” He cleaned the dirty mugs. I didn’t say anything and grabbed another rag. 

“Uh... cheif, can I ask you something personal?” I asked. 

“That’s frightening to hear, but sure, kid. What’s on your mind?” 

Scrub scrub. 

“How did you forget about her,” I gulped, “Wakaba, I mean.” 

“Well,” scrub, “I didnt.”

Scrub.. clink.. scrub.. 

“You didn’t?” 

“Nope,” He shook his head, “Look, Akira. No one is asking you to forget, or even move on. Hell, none of us moved on from Wakaba. She’s still my best friend. Death means nothing with a bond like ours.” Scrub scrub... 

I looked down, “So... it’s okay to still think about him? And still want him back?” 

Clink! 

“That’s perfectly normal. Don’t put too much stress on yourself trying to do the impossible, ‘Kay kid?” He grinned, “Now, off to bed.” 

I smiled, relieved. I set the mug down and began walking upstairs. I stopped at the stairs and looked back at him, “Thank you.” 

“Of course, Akira. Again, it’s all perfectly okay.” He nodded. 

“No,” I started, “Thank you for everything.”

//March 20th, 20XX//

The walk to the bus was shorter than I remembered. Every other time it felt like eternity walking to and fro, yet I didn’t mind. The city is truly amazing, something Goro helped me see. He always had an eye for those things— finding a needle in a haystack. 

“Well,” Morgana began, “we’re here!” 

I stepped onto the bus, looking for my seat. I sat, Morgana jumped underneath the seat and closed his eyes. I places my ear buds in, putting Dreamflower on loop. 

“I miss you,” I said to myself, looking outside the dripping window pane. 

“I’ve missed you, too.” I heard a familiar voice.

I whipped my head around, 

“Goro...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and thats chapter 2! i hope you all enjoyed this chapter <3 chapter 3 coming soon!


	3. Dead Man Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of believing his first love was dead and gone, Kurusu Akira reunites with Akechi Goro unexpectedly.

“Goro...” I gaped, my jaw struggling to close, “I... uh- huh?” 

His eyes were red and tired, his hair had clearly been messed with- perhaps a disguise. His smile seemed like it took a lot of effort to show, and his lip was slightly trembling. I looked down at his hands holding a large suitcase... _he had on one glove._ He reached over to my face and lifted my opened jaw.

“Do you mind if I sit?” His eyes gestured to the empty seat next to me, his hands still cupping my face. He wiped away a falling tear.

My eyes widened in disbelief. I didn’t believe this, _how in the hell?_ I didn’t know what to say. I tried to say something, anything, but all that came out was a whimper-like squeak, “Eh- ah...ii~!” 

He laughed, “You never were good with your words, I suppose.” He took a seat next to me. 

My brain was moving a million miles a minute- _how? Why? Where has he been? How is he here? Why now? Did he know he was coming back?_ All these questions, but no breath left to ask them. 

“I can tell you have questions by that expression on your face,” He looked at his feet, “so I should start from the beginning.” 

* * *

Akechi Goro’s POV

//February 3rd, 20XX//

My eyes darted open. I tried moving, but my body was simply frozen. I was laying on my back in a shallow pool; the water was cold, but almost soothing. Like it was speaking to me, _it’s okay_. There were trees with crystal leaves, clinking together making a beautiful chime-like sound. Above me was a sky of falling glitter in a blue haze, almost like stars. The sky didn’t seem like it had an end. It blended into the area I was in now, flowing from the heavens to wherever I was. Perhaps Hell.

Although, it didn’t feel like Hell. Not that I believed in it, but Hell was always described as a burning cage. Constant unease, torture, and regret. I was feeling something much different here. I felt at peace with myself. The only time I felt like that was when I was with-

“Akira...” I grunted, frantically trying to get up. I needed to see if he was okay. I need to see him, now. The water splashing calmly around me, as if it was putting me into a warm embrace. It certainly calmed me down- It felt so familiar, so comfortable. I felt a tear shed down my cheek. Not of grief or loneliness, but because I felt content. The thought of him always did this to me, his calming expression. He’s just _pretty._

A muffled noise started to come to clarity, it was a song. It was still too muffled for me to recognize it. I closed my eyes, doing my best to listen. Louder, and louder. 

_Dreamflower._ This was our song. I can remember it as clear as this water- us dancing together while those around us just watched in awe, maybe even disgust. We didn’t care, we had each other. We let the world melt away- it was just us in that moment. _This is what this feeling is. The embrace of the water- it feels like him. Where in the fuck am I?_

“Does this feel familiar to you?” A voice called. It also sounded familiar, but in the sense of that I really have heard it before, when I was alive. 

“Where am I?” I called out. Suddenly, my body lifted- it took off into the midst of the air. The water below me was moving in soft ripples, and looked like it was made of gems- if that was even possible. I felt a rush of adrenaline and took a deep, deep breath of it. 

“Your heart, of course.” The voice called out. A blue butterfly covered in stardust circled my floating body. I knew that voice- I'm sure of it. 

“Lavenza?” I looked at the butterfly. She fluttered to position herself in front of me. Suddenly, a bright light flashed before me. I covered my eyes with my wrist, protecting myself from the star-like figure. Once I lowered my wrist, Lavenza appeared before me, leaving stardust residue. My body lowered, and I was on my feet again. 

“Hello again.” She smiled. I crossed my arms and sat into my hip. “My heart? You’re kidding, right?” 

“You try so hard,” she giggled, “to be someone you’re not. This is your true heart. Quite beautiful, isn’t it?” 

I looked around again. She was right, it absolutely was, “So? What, do I just spend the rest of my time here?” I responded, trying not to give into the conversation. 

“If you wish; but you- unlike other unfortunate beings- have a choice.” 

“To what.” 

“To go back.”

I shifted my posture. “So... I’m alive?”

“No, not quite. But, if you so choose to do so, then yes. It’s really up to you.” 

“Great. I’m fucking halfway dead.” I sighed. I studied her face, “There’s a catch, Isn’t there?” 

“If you go back, your father and his men will know you’re alive. You will need to go into hiding.” 

“But I get to see Akira again.” I declared. 

“You’ll have to leave him alone for now. Trust in me, it’s the only option. You cannot speak to him or any of the Phantom Thieves.” 

“But he’ll go months thinking i’m dead,” I argued, “I can’t allow that. I know him, he’ll be broken.” 

“He can handle it,” she smiled, “you have to put faith in him. He’ll persevere; he always does.” 

I didn’t respond. I just looked down at my clothing- a white pajama set. My heart is annoying. 

“The choice is yours. Stay here- dead- or go back alive.” She declared. 

“Why do I get a choice,” I asked, “Why not the other people who came back from that reality?” 

“The answer is simple,” she stated, “Fate.”

“Fate?” 

“Yes, that’s correct. You see,” she started walking around me, “in our world, nothing is a coincidence. Nothing just _happens._ Fate decides who will live and who will die.”

“So the people that I killed,” I scolded, “it was their fate to be murdered?” 

“That’s correct.”

“It was my mother’s fate to be abused and tormented by that bastard? To kill herself? You call that fate?” 

“It’s a cruel world, Akechi. As awful as it is, its the absolute truth.” She finalized. She began again, “There are people like you out there. You see the world for what it is, yes. But you also see the beauty in it. If that wasn’t true, your heart wouldn't be so pure.”

“I’m nowhere near pure.” I scoffed, putting a hand on my hip. 

“You have the potential to change,” she insisted, “the potential to be who you really are. Fate knows that, and that’s why you get to choose.” 

I paused for a moment, taking in her words. I heard the song play underneath the various thoughts scrambling around my head. The world is cruel, unfair, and brutal. 

But then there’s him. If our song is the song playing in my heart, then he is my fate.

“I choose fate,” I answered, “I want to go back, I’ll do whatever it takes.” 

And so I was back. 

* * *

//March 19th, 20XX//

The shelter was a lot colder than I remembered. Then again, I had mom to keep me warm. I shivered as I opened up my wallet, trying to see how much savings I have left for the month. And, to my dismay, “A total of... 3,602 yen. Just fucking wonderful.” I sighed. I poured the wallet out onto the cot and spread it out. A picture- of Akira. It’s just him, he was trying on weird hats at the shopping mall. This hat was a knitted frog winter hat. In my opinion, he looked rather adorable. He looked into the camera, his eyes crossed and his tongue sticking out. I love this photo. 

“What are you smiling about, Akechi-kun?” The annoying girl from the front desk asked. 

“That’s none of your concern.” I said, tucking it away again. I began putting all the money back in. She crossed her arms and leaned into the door way. “Please get out.” I commanded. 

“No-can-do, my friend. You look like you are... swimming in riches.” 

“I can manage.” I looked up at her, clearly annoyed. 

“Not saying you couldn’t,” she put her hands up, “but I’m saying you could use some money. Maki-san’s offer still stands.” 

Maki-san was the old lady who was always _there._ My mom would walk in with new bruises, cuts, or eyes filled with tears. She always made a hot cup of tea and fresh biscuits. She had coloring books for me to draw in while they had “adult-talk”. As I got older, she taught me how to embroider. Secret- I still love embroidering. 

“I’m not taking her money,” my voice lowered, “That woman has... done enough.. for me.”

The girl sighed, “I don’t know what you two have been through, but all I know is that she cares about you. Talk to her, at least.”

* * *

There was a knock on my door. By the gentleness, and the pattern in the knocking, I knew it was Maki-san. 

“Come in, Maki-san.” I said. 

“Akechi,” the door opened, “how are you doing?” She smiled, her fragile voice on the brink of burning out. 

I stood up to help her to the small rocking chair in the corner. “I’m managing,” I said as I slowly helped her sit down, “I really should be the one checking in on you.” I smiled at her. 

“Oh, dear, you’re so kind.” She chuckled. She looked at my face and clicked her tongue. “You look more and more like your mother each day.” She teared up. Maki-san was the one who found me, crying over my mothers body. I’m sure that image never left her head. 

I placed my hand onto hers, “And you look the same as always. Did you get younger?” I asked, smiling. She laughed again, harder this time. She sighed, “Akechi,” she said in a serious tone, “I need you to take the money.” 

“No. Maki-san I insist-“ 

“He’s leaving.” 

I paused, “I know he is.” I looked down.

“You can’t keep waiting, keep hiding. You need to find him. Fate, remember?” 

“How is he?” I asked.

“The day after your disappearance,” she began, “it was terrible. You could hear the crying from the café. Sojiro-kun had everyone leave as soon as they were done.”

I felt a sharp sting in my heart, “I can’t face him again. Not after I left him...” My eyes filled with tears. 

“That wasn’t your fault, my child.” She reassured, “He still goes to the club.” 

I looked up at her, “How do you know that?” My heart stung again.

“Oh,” she smiled, “My husband goes frequently. He actually just left, said that he talked to your friend. Akira-kun mentioned you.”

I blushed a deep red, “He mentioned me?” I squeaked. Embarrassed, I cleared my throat. Maki-san chuckled. “I can’t believe he still goes.” I said, almost to myself.

“He still holds onto that glove, I’m assuming it’s yours since you’re wearing only one.” She said with a smug look on her face.

I didn’t say anything, I just broke out into silent sobs. I miss him, I miss him more than anything. It’s my fault he’s hurting, he needs me right now. 

“Take the goddamn money, Akechi.” She insisted. I looked up at her, my face wet and beet-red. “Please, my child. I want you to.”

I opened my mouth, “B-but, my father-“

“You are going to run away from him. From all of them. You are going to get on that bus with your friend. You are going to tell him you love him and you are _going_ to take that money. Are we clear?” She sounded scary, almost like she was ready to kill me if I refused. I nodded, not saying a word. “I’ll see you around, child.” She smiled. 

* * *

//Present Day//

“So... let me get this straight,” Akira began again, “you’re really actually alive because fate somehow wants you to and your heart has crystals and stars in it and you were hiding in a shelter all the while having your grandparents who aren’t your grandparents spy on me so you can check up on me without checking up on me?” 

“Well I guess I could’ve summed it up that way,” I chuckled. He was still baffled, naturally. Tears of shock fell from his face as I continued to wipe them off throughout telling him the details. I looked into his eyes, “I love you, Akira.” I finally said. 

“What the fuck,” he said, “I fucking love you too.”

I smiled, pulling his face into mine. I kissed him softly, almost reassuring him that I was real and we were okay. 

“It really took a whole 2 times for Akechi to die in order to get you two to fess up your feelings? Pathetic.” A familiar voice came from under the chair. 

“What the- Morgana? When did you get here?” My face felt hot. I looked up at Akira, “When did he get here?”

Akira laughed, and just took out an earbud and lent it to me. We fell asleep on each other’s shoulder as our song played-echoing in our hearts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! im sorry the updates are so inconsistent (´Д` ) ! im doing my best to keep up. chapter 4 coming soon!


	4. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long couple days of travel, Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro, and Morgana are relieved to have arrived at the Kurusu household. After their not-so-welcome warming, they plan out what comes next.

“Who the hell is this?” My drunken mother slurred as she panned her eyes over to the boy standing beside me. 

“Akechi Goro,” I hesitated, “He’s a friend from Tokyo.” 

“‘The fuck do you think you are bringing around men to my house?” She slowly walked over to the fridge to grab another beer. She froze in her tracks, “S’that a fuckin’ cat?” 

“Hey!” Morgana whined back. 

“Y-yes,” I looked down, “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. It all happened so fast-“

”God, Akira, you’re just so...” She pinched the bridge of her nose, “Whatever. As long as you don’t annoy me or get into any more trouble.” 

I bowed to her, as did Goro. “Thank you for opening your home to me,” he spoke in his fake-prince manner, “I know it’s unexpected and I must be a burden. I will do my best to make it seem like I’m not even here.” He smiled, even though she was facing away, trying to light a cigarette. 

“Yeah, yeah. On with it.” She shooed us away.

Goro and I lugged our things up the stairs. Once we had arrived in my room, we plummeted ourselves onto the bed. I rolled over into Goro’s arms with a long sigh, nuzzling my head onto his chest. 

“Christ,” I groaned, “those stairs are longer than I remembered.”

Morgana stretched his back out, “I’m pooped. Honestly, I’m just glad to have somewhere to rest for the moment.”

“Your mother seems pleasant.” Goro sarcastically responded. I laughed,

“She wasn’t always like this. After my dad left she kinda let herself go. It all happened when I was young so... not much I could’ve done.” 

“I'm sorry,” He responded as he took his fingers and played with my hair, “it must’ve been hard to watch.” He scooted me closer to him.

My father isn’t someone I talk about. Not without getting unnecessarily angry, that is. I thought of a way to change the subject.

I sat up, “So, uh, there’s a guest bedroom down the hall if you want to stay in there. The bed is smaller but not bad. Or if you want me to move there, that’s cool. If you wanna stay in here with me, uhm... also in here, that’s also really cool too. I-it’s up to you.” 

“You two are so weird,” Morgana rolled his knowing eyes, “I’ll take the guest room. You two stay here.”

Goro, as red as a tomato, shot up, “You- you’re a cat! You don’t need your own room!” 

“That’s true, I suppose,” He smirked, “I’m taking a nap. Don’t wake me up.” He trotted out of the room, leaving us both sitting in utter embarrassment.

“So I guess we share, then!” I broke the silence, avoiding revealing my reddened face.

Goro sighed and plopped back down. “You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he began again, “About your father, I mean.”

“Oh, it’s not that.” I leaned into him again, “It just makes me angry, is all. I feel the more I talk about it, the less I understand.” 

“That’s okay,” he smiled at me, “It’s okay to be angry. Normal, in fact. No one is all-knowing and understands everything.”

He paused, “...besides me.” 

I snorted, “That’s so like you to say that, you maniac.” I looked at him. His eyes showed a hint of mischief. I took the pillow beside me and shoved it into his face. 

“You fucker,” his voice was muffled beneath the pillow. He took his hands and viscously tickled me. It was cruel.

I roared with laughter, trying to use the pillow I had as a shield. I tried attacking him with said weapon, but it was no match. 

“I’ll kill you again,” He growled, his face showing complete ease, “struggling is pointless. This is what you get, accept it.” He laughed. 

I laughed with him, finally releasing the breath I didn’t know I was holding. It felt good, just being with him. I wrapped my arms around him and gently kissed the top of his head. 

I felt him smile as he buried his head into my chest, wrapping his arms around my waist. We sat there for a moment, smiling in each other’s presence. It felt good, comfortable. 

“You know,” I began, “There’s one thing I really wanna do.” 

“Oh god,” Goro scoffed, “we were having a moment and now you’re going to ruin it with another one if your stupid proposals.” He said, half-joking. 

“Fair enough,” I smiled, “but this is something better.” 

“What is it.” He dreaded the answer.

“A date.” 

He perked his head up, “A date? You mean like, what couples do?” 

“Well, we are a couple. Right?” 

I saw his face blend into a rosy complexion. I continued, “And we haven’t been on a date before. An official one at least.” 

Goro cleared his throat, “I-I guess you’re right.” He stammered. I smirked, “What, are you nervous, Mr. Know-it-all?” 

He slightly shoved me, “No, fuck off.” 

“What’s wrong?” I genuinely asked, “It’s not like it’s anything we haven’t done before.”

“It’s my first date.” He confessed. 

I shot up, “You’re joking.” 

He buried his face into his hands, “No. Im serious. It’s so embarrassing,” he groaned.

“No!” I smiled, “This is perfect! My boyfriend’s first date...” I excitedly pondered.

He removed his hands, revealing a truly reddened face. “What are you thinking about?” He nervously asked.

“Me? Oh nothing much, just thinking about how special I need to make this for you. Don’t worry, leave it to me. I will make this date the best surprise you have ever experienced.” I confidently responded. 

“Jesus christ...” He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading this chapter! its much shorter than usual, but im so glad to finally start writing more shuake moments! 
> 
> comments are always appreciated !!! 
> 
> chapter 5 coming soon!


	5. The Master of Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a little practice and master-advice from Morgana, Akira and Goro are ready for their first date.

Akira’s POV

* * *

I looked at myself in the mirror intensely. I leaned over the counter and took a deep, deep breath, “You got this.” I convinced myself aloud. I took my hands and slapped them against my cheeks, leaving red marks. I wriggled my arms and legs and jumped up and down- dating is a sport. You have to be ready. 

Arms loosely down. _Check_. Feet shoulder-width apart. _Check_. Knees slightly bent. _Check_. Chest puffed. _Check_. Look into his eyes (the mirror) directly but not in a creepy way. _Check_. Neck long but not awkwardly long. _Check. I think_. 

Deep breath, in... and out. 

“He-y!” I squeaked. I cleared my throat; that’s a no-go. “Hehy...” My voice was way low, too low. It kinda hurt. “So, how many dates have you been on? None? Yeah you... told me that. I should listen more. Not that I don’t listen because I do, but I just...” My voice trailed off as I scrunched my eyes together and made a face in the mirror. I slapped my face again. 

“Dates are quite exquisite, don’t you think? Yeah, I’m an expert at dating. A pro actually!” I leaned into the mirror (Goro substitute) and smirked. My breath kinda stinks, maybe I should brush. Again.

“So are you surprised? Back in the day, people called me the... surprise... master. No one fucking called you that you fucking imbecile...” I groaned, “Stupid, stupid,” I lightly face-palmed. 

I heard noise from the other side of the bathroom; laughing. Fucking hell...

“Morgana, go away.” I mumbled. I want to die. 

“What are you doing, Surprise Master?” He sneered. 

“Ha ha. Very funny,” I responded, “I’m... practicing.” I confessed. 

I heard his laughter roar louder, “Jesus, Akira. You truly are hopeless.” 

“Fuck you.” I felt my face get hot. 

“Come out here. I’ll help you practice the right way.” 

I opened the door and gave Morgana a dead glare. “A single word of this-“ 

“And I’m dead,” he finished my sentence, “your eyes say that much.” 

I glared at him again, then looked around the room for Goro. “Is he here?” I whispered. 

“No, the real Goro is in the guest bathroom getting ready.” 

“The... ‘real’ Goro?” I asked, “Then where’s the fake?”

“Right here!” He said, sitting with a proud chest. 

I connected the dots, “No. I’m not doing this.” I started to walk back. 

“It’s either this or I record you talking to yourself in the mirror and your date sucks. It’s up to you.” 

I sighed, “Fine, whatever.” I sat into my hip. 

“Atta boy! Now. Talk to me like I’m Goro. Say that I look nice. Give me a compliment or two.” 

“Uh, hey. Goro, you look really nice. And I like your hair-“ 

“Stop, stop! What the hell was that?” He whined.

I shrugged, “I thought that was good.” 

“Yeah, for a robot. Try again, with emotion.” 

“Hey, Goro. You look amazing,” I started.

Morgana tried to impersonate Goro, “You too, Akira. Where are we going today?” 

“Uh- i-it's a surprise.”

“Stop! Why’d you say it like you just puked at 3 in the morning and you’re trying to tell your mom?”

“I didn’t expect to go further!” I whined. “This is really hard.” 

“That’s because,” he began, “you’re making it hard. You’re thinking too much. It doesn’t have to be that way! Listen, just speak from the heart. Tell him something you truly believe he deserves to hear. Go.” 

I cleared my throat, “Okay,” I thought for a moment, “someone once told me that death means nothing when it comes to love. It hurts, of course. It won’t stop hurting. Tears are the best you can do, and sometimes it’s not enough. But, when you lose someone so close to you, it only brings you closer. It sounds weird, but if you think about it, it’s true. You never lose sight of each other. After I lost you, I went through one of the hardest times that I’ll probably ever have to go through. But,” I looked down, “It made me reflect. I realized that I love you. And I want you more than anything. And now that I have you again, it’s all I could ever ask for. I’m never letting go. I love you, with everything in me.” 

“What the fuck,” a voice came from the door. Morgana and I whipped our heads around to see Goro, stopped in his tracks. 

“I... it’s not what it looks like!” I tried to explain. 

Goro roared with laughter; after a few moments, all three of us were clenching our stomachs and rolling on the floor. 

Goro was now laying beside me looking into my eyes. “You have me speechless.” I smiled at him. He blushed, “Me or Morgana?” 

I shoved him lightly aside. “Come on, I need you to wear this.” I stood as I grabbed a blindfold. 

“As much as I love you,” He had a mischievous look in his eye, “I don’t feel ready for this kind of stuff.” 

I wrapped the blindfold around his eyes, “Ha, ha, ha. You are hilarious.” 

He giggled, “But seriously. Why the blindfold?” 

“What’s a surprise without a blindfold?”

* * *

We reached the stairs. _Shoot._ I didn’t think how I’d get him up the stairs without bumping into anything. 

“What’s wrong? Are we here?” He asked. 

“I'm picking you up.” 

“You’re w-“ He was cut off by his own gasp, the surprise of suddenly being lifted and carried across the stairs. We reached the top, and I slowly set him back on his feet. I walked behind him and placed my hands over his eyes. “Ready?” I whispered into his ear. He smiled and placed his hands over mine- removing the blindfold along with me. 

I saw him take it all in. The fort covered in fairy lights, the telescope, the home-made projector, snacks mixed in a bowl. The music- our song, of course- playing softly in the background. Harmless Fireflies whirling around the area.

And the stars.

“Are we...” He gaped, in awe of it all. 

“We are on top of an apartment building.” I took his wrists and lead him to the fort I built. I wrapped him in a soft blanket and put my arm around him.

“Akira, this is...” He said, still in awe. Or maybe disappointment. Maybe he’s disappointed in me.

“You don’t like it.” I said, trying not to sound upset.

“No, no it’s perfect,” he reassured, “I just feel like this must’ve been a lot of work for you, and I don’t wanna be that kind of burden.” 

“Do you honestly think that any amount of work will add up to how much I love you?” 

He looked at me- saying nothing, yet so much at the same time. I reached my hand down to his face, brushing my thumb briskly across his lips. I felt his eyes on mine as I slowly closed the gap.

His lips were soft, fragile. I didn’t want to break them, I felt that any more pressure would’ve torn him to pieces. Yet, he kissed me deeper; he pulled my neck down to the point where I hovered over him. We broke away and stared at each other for a moment. 

“I heard, by the way.” He whispered.

“Heard what?” I asked.

“What you said to Morgana.”

“Oh, that,” I sat up, “Sorry about that. It was weird and stupid. You should honestly just forget about it. Yeah, let’s forget about it.” My face grew red.

He sat up, “No, I don’t want to forget.” He softly spoke, “It was sweet, so thank you.” He rested his head on my shoulder as we looked at the still stars. He opened his mouth,

“I love you, thank you for all this. You’re incredible and always full of surprises, Mr. Surpise Master,” he smirked.

I groaned, “So you heard, then.”

“Yeah, pretty much everything. Walls are thin, you know.” 

“Well hey, at least the practice payed off.” 

He smiled, “You don’t need it.” 

There was a beat.

“Can you promise me something?”

Goro shifted his body in a way that said, ‘i’m listening’.

“Promise me I won’t lose you again.”

He smiled, “You won’t lose me again, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!!! thanks for reading this chapter, i literally rewrote it like three times bc it kept on deleting. but its here now! so enjoy, chapter 6 coming soon! 
> 
> comments are always appreciated!


	6. Grandma’s Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goro woke up to a sore throat and Akira took it upon himself to take care of him. Goro, who isn’t used to being treated like that, has a bit of trouble understanding why Akira stays in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi !!! im sorry this chapter is shorter than usual, ive been really busy and i havent been able to write. i hope you enjoy! 
> 
> also- merry christmas to those who celebrate it!!!

I woke to the sounds of coughing beside me. Goro hunched over the side of our bed, trying to muffle his sounds. I sat up and placed my hand on his back. 

“Hey,” My voice was groggy, “are you okay?” 

“I feel like shit.” He took in a shallow breath.

“Do you need anything?”

“No, I don’t need any-“ He was cut off by a sneeze. I reached over to my drawer and grabbed the tissue box. 

“Are you sure,” I handed the box to him, “I can call Takemi or-“ 

“No, you can’t,” he had a sudden burst of energy, “They’ll find me and...” His voice trailed off as a chain of coughs followed. I ran my hand in circles on his back. 

“I know how much you don’t want to hear this,” I began, “but you can’t hide forever. Our friends still have no idea you’re even alive. They would love to hear you’re okay.”

“...”

“I know you’re scared. But hey,” I lifted his chin to make him look at me, “I’m here. And as long as I’m here no one will lay a finger on you.”

I placed a kiss on his cheek while simultaneously checking his temperature.

“You have a fever,” I got out of our bed, “I’m getting you medicine.” He opened his mouth to protest, but he couldn’t speak. His throat was sore and he didn’t have the energy to argue.

* * *

I scanned through the dust-filled cook book that had been laying around in our kitchen; it probably had never been used.

“The hell are you doing?” My mother was standing behind me.

“Oh,” my voice shook, “Goro is feeling sick, so... I wanted to make him something to cheer him up.”

She walked over to another cabinet on the other side of the kitchen and pulled out a wrinkled paper.

“Follow these directions,” she showed me, “and this tea will heal him almost instantaneously. Then make him, like, biscuits or something.”

“This was grandma’s special tea,” I smiled, “You and her always made me this when I was sick.”

“Yeah...” Her voice was tired. She was obviously hungover.

I took a deep breath, “When did you stop?”

“Stop what?”

“I don’t know,” I regretted saying anything.

She sighed and pulled out a cigarette, “I never stopped loving you, Akira. If that’s what you’re asking.”

“I know-“

“No, you don’t know,” she cut me off, “and that’s my fault. My parenting skills aren’t... the most affectionate. And I’m sorry.”

I smiled softly, “I like you better sober.”

“Don’t get used to it.” She walked outside, smirking. I laughed to myself as I began making the tea and biscuits. 

* * *

“Tea and biscuits?” Goro’s voice was sore.

“And medicine,” I smiled as I walked over to our bed. I handed over the tray to him as he struggled to sit up. 

“Careful,” I helped him up. 

“Why are you so nice to me,” He asked. It was genuine, almost sad sounding. 

“Because I love you.” I answered without thinking. It was the truth, after all. 

“Why,” his voice trembled. He was avoiding eye contact, which typically meant he was crying and too embarrassed to show me. 

I took my hand and caressed his cheek. “Look at me,” I whispered. He slowly turned his head to face me. His eyes were welled up with tears, his nose and cheeks were red and irritated. I pulled him into a tight embrace. “I love you because I can’t help but not be.” I answered simply. 

“But, I-“ He tried speaking. I traced my hand through the back of his head, trying to soothe him. 

“You are everything to me,” I pulled away, “And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Understood?”

“I love you, too.” Was all he seemed to be able to say back. 

I slowly reached down to his face and kissed him softly. 

“Wait-“ He pulled away, “You’ll get sick.”

“Don’t worry,” I smiled, “Idiots can’t get sick.” 

“You’re so fucking weird.” He smiled, pulling me back into a kiss. 

This boy will be the death of me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh! i hope you enjoyed! again, sorry its so short. comments are always appreciated <3


	7. Sex & Super Smash Bros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a competitive game of Super Smash Bros, Kurusu Akira and Akechi Goro decide to take their own spin on the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi !! its been so so so long since my last chapter, i really dont have an excuse for that HAHXHS but heres this chapter ;) 
> 
> TW// sexual themes, oral sex

“FUCK YOU!” Goro shouted at the TV. 

I laughed at his competitive demeanor, he always got way too worked up when he lost; specifically to me. Not that I minded. In fact, it made winning all the more worthwhile. 

“That’s... what,” I teased, “4 to 0? Maybe 5?”

Goro scoffed and dropped his controller. He always got so petty after losing, especially in Super Smash Bros. “I should be good at this one,” he complained, “I’ve killed you in real life. Why can’t I do it in the goddamn game?” 

“Well, for starters, a controller is much different from a gun.” I stood up and walked over to him. I stepped my leg over his, bringing myself to a sitting position on top of his lap. His face slightly flushed, but he decided to jeer back. 

“Is that mockery? Stop that.” 

“It’s too fun for me to stop now, so i’ll pass on that.” I whispered, leaning into him. I cupped my hands around his face and kissed him deeper. The smaller boy underneath me wrapped his arms around my back and pulled my body closer to his. I couldn’t lie to myself and say I wasn’t a little excited. I began to run my hands through his hair, trickling my fingers down his back. His back arched at the feel of that and our breathing quickened. Goro slowly started to lean back into the bed before regaining composure and breaking our heated make out session. 

“Well, this,” he pointed at the screen, “is no fun for me.” His lips were already reddened, his breathing unsure and shallow. 

I thought for a moment, trying to come up with a better way of getting him engaged. Not that he wasn’t— he was 100% invested. In defeating me, that is. An idea popped into my head; the thought of it molded a smirk onto my face.

“How about we make our own rules?” I ran my fingers through his hair again, fixing my posture to appear taller on top of him. 

Goro’s interest piqued, “Our... own? What do you mean by that?” 

“So we play the game normally, but the loser of each round has to do a dare.” 

Goro’s head cocked to the side, “A dare? Are you insinuating we incorporate a game of Truth or Dare into Super Smash Bros?” 

“Yeah, kinda. But just the dare part.” 

“Well that's not fair, you would win every time.”

“What if I told you there were no limits to the dares?” 

“Bring it, fucker.” 

I rolled off his lap, determined to beat him. We started yet another round, this time it was a little more viscous. Goro clearly had an idea in mind— I started to sweat at what the gruesome idea may be. His violent demeanor got me excited, and my mind wandered back to what almost unraveled moments prior. I loved when he acted like this; it was too attractive. I lost focus after realizing my excitement took control over me— specifically my pants. It was a little embarrassing, considering we had barely done anything. But just the thought of him could sometimes consume me and eventually take a toll on my body. I quickly crossed my legs, trying to hide myself from him. My hands started to get slippery, the controller wasn’t mine anymore. I was spamming buttons— trying to get the blood-thirsty boy off the map. Nothing could be helped. When Goro’s mind is made up like this, there's no point in fighting back. Kirby fell off the map, leaving me to my despair. 

“YES! I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE VICTORIOUS! NOBODY CAN BEAT ME...” Goro’s voice was dark and full of revenge. 

“You’re insane,” I sighed, still trying to contain myself, “What’ll it be? Ice cubes in my underwear?” 

“Take your clothes off.” Goro said simply. 

Well that’s an issue. “Wh-“ I stuttered, looking at the smiling boy, “what?” 

“You did mention that there were no rules, did you not?” 

“Well, yeah, but-“

“Then there should be no issue. Your words, after all.” 

“This is... very sudden,” I let out a shaky breath.

“Don’t act like I haven’t seen everything already in that latex suit of yours.” Goro teased. 

My face flushed into a red hue, “Wh-... hey! Yours was tighter!” 

I saw his cheeks turn a rose pink before he looked away, “Perhaps. Are you uncomfortable with doing so? I understand this much. Forget I said-“

“No,” I cut him off, “It’s not that i’m uncomfortable. I’m... I’m just hesitant, I guess.” 

Goro looked back into my eyes— his full of understanding. He scooted closer to me, pushing my hair out of my eyes. He planted a singular kiss on my cheek.

“You don’t have to. I’m just kidding, you pussy,” he joked. 

And with that, I ripped my shirt off.

He looked at my body, the shock of the sight brought the boy to get incredibly flustered. His eyes wandered to my belt and he noticed my arousal. His face was now a bright red, almost purple. He covered his mouth before squeaking, “You..!? Actually are taking your clothes off?” He looked away, avoiding eye contact. 

“You called me a pussy,” I took my pants off, “I am NOT a pussy. You’re a pussy.” I declared. 

“I said I... I said I was kidding!” He was losing focus. He had then crossed his legs over; I smirked to myself. 

“Everything’s off,” I announced, “you can look now.” 

“I’ll...” he cleared his throat, “The TV is just fine, thank you.” His eyes were glued to the Super Smash Bros menu. “Next round, shall we?”

Thanks to the lack of focus on Goro’s end, I won. “Ah hah!” I stood, pointing at Goro. He used his hand to cover his eyes. He was still avoiding the sight of me. “I won, fucker!” I jumped onto my feet. 

“That was a trial round,” Goro insisted, “I wasn’t in my right state of mind. I demand rematch.” 

“Sore loser.” 

“Pussy.”

“Says the one who won’t even look at me right now.” I joked.

Goro’s back straightened to the sound of my jeer, “Get it over with, what am I doing?”

“Hmm,” I looked around my room, “A blindfold.” 

“That’s unfair!” He perked up, still not meeting my eyes, “I won’t see the screen!” 

“Too bad,” I laughed, grabbing the bandanna from my counter. I walked up behind him and whispered into his ear, “Is this a problem, Goro? It’s not like it’d be much a difference...” 

I could feel Goro’s murderous intent as I tied the bandanna to his eyes. In all honesty, I couldn’t help but become weak from that each time. It gave me a rush of adrenaline, like I wanted to challenge him to new things just to feel that energy from him. It was intimate to me; special. And, it was completely absolutely without a doubt hot.

Of course, due to his blindness, he lost the next round. 

“I’ll kill you,” he jeered. 

_God_ I wanted him. I stood and took careful steps towards the blind and fuming boy. 

“What now,” he continued, “I have to tie my hands behind my back?” 

“Not a bad idea,” I could tell I startled him, “but no.” I placed a finger on his blindfold. The heat from his cheeks radiated onto my hand. He met his hand to mine, lightly brushing my wrist. He gulped, clearly unsure of what I wanted. I couldn’t say it was the same for me; I knew exactly what I wanted. I pushed the blindfold onto his forehead, tilting his head up to meet my hungered eyes.

“I dare you to finish what we started earlier.” I leaned into him, teasing a kiss. 

He stiffened, unsure of whether to respond or kiss me. My lips brushed against his— his shaky breath felt hot against my skin. His eyes wearily wandered down to the rest of my body; he took his hand and brushed it upon my shoulders bearing over his smaller body. 

“Are you... sure?” He finally responded, “I didn’t want to bring it up before. I wasn’t sure of your opinion on the matter an-“ 

I kissed him. I kissed him so hard that a tiny moan resonated through him, he leaned back in shock as I slowly crawled over him. His heated face was now radiating onto my whole body. 

“I’ve been wanting to...” I thought of the right words, my voice in an impatient growl, “get to know you better for a while now,” I broke the kiss, “I’m asking _you.”_

“Shut up and kiss me,” he growled.

He dug his nails into the back of my neck, bringing my face closer to his. I bore my arms over the boy, holding myself above him. His hands were exploring my back as I took my other hand and lightly rubbed him. He let out tiny moans, almost whimpers. He grew harder, beginning to pulse his hips into my hand. Our kisses became of violent nature; we deemed hungrier by each kiss— each breath.

I moved my hand to his belt, “It’s no fair that I am the only naked one, you know.” I smirked.

He whimpered at the feel of me suddenly stopping, “No... d-don’t,” he managed to speak. 

I moved to my knees before the bed, slowly pulling his pants off. He squirmed and complained, begging me to take them off faster. 

“Akira, please...” he begged, “I... g-go fas-ter.. gAh-“

“I barely even touched you,” I pulled the pants to his ankles, “patience is a virtue, my love.” 

He yelped as I pulled his legs closer to me, bringing him to sit on the edge of the bed. I took my finger and lightly brushed it against the tip in front of me. He shut his eyes and bit his lip, avoiding any noise— if at all possible. His toes were curling against the carpet, making faint sounds. I wrapped my hand around his member, squeezing lightly. 

“Ngh-gAh..” He escaped. His mouth was quickly covered by his own mouth, shutting his eyes tighter. 

I started to move my hand up and down, watching as the movements drove him to insanity. 

“Hngh-... you- bastard. I’ll... nagh~“ He squeezed out of his lust-filled throat. 

“We’re alone,” I whispered, “no one’s home. You don’t have to hold back.” I said before enveloping my mouth around him. 

“GaNgh~” He jumped. 

I took my left hand and held his hips down to the bed; I used the other to help move his member around in my mouth. I moved my hand and head simultaneously. He was twitching around in my throat; I would be lying if I said it didn’t feel good. Goro’s hips were fighting against my hand that had the task of containing him— not that he could control that. He was no longer trying to contain his moans— his begging. His throat was making all sorts of noise; hitching at any moment I changed pace. He sounded like he was coming straight out of some cheesy porn, moaning and cussing me out like maniac. 

“Ak~ irra... fuck, _fuck-“_

I moved faster, causing him to scream and throw his head back with brute force. He took his free hand and pulled on my hair, moving my head up and down at his own pace.

He moved my head faster, he screamed louder. His staff hitting the back of my throat felt good, almost too good. My moaning was broken by the feel of him hitting my throat repeatedly, in a perfect rhythm. I felt my hand relax as I let my eyes roll to the back of my head. He took advantage of that freedom and pulsed his hips further into my throat. Faster, louder, faster, louder— a consistent pattern. 

Eventually, I took control of the situation again. I pushed his hips into the bed and gave my mouth a break before speaking again, “This is my job, got that?” I was out of breath. 

Drool hung from his mouth, there were tears of pleasure streaming down his cheeks. He let out an indecipherable sound as he nodded his head like a dog trying to shake off it’s wet fur. His cheeks were red and flushed and his eyes’ focus was shifting between me and the back of his head. He clearly had nothing on his mind other than what was happening at that moment. 

I wrapped my mouth around him again, going so fast to the point where my neck immediately became sore. He moaned, cried, and screamed for more. I moved my hand as fast as I could, trying to keep up the pace within myself. 

He screamed, his hand still tangled into my hair. His legs wrapped around my body; his toes curling. He attempted to utter something, but all that came out were more screams and inaudible moans. I felt a rush through my body, suddenly my vision went white and a loud moan escaped my throat. It didn’t take me long before I realized I came, which prompted me to speed up for Goro’s sake. His body tensed up, and that was all I needed to note before feeling hot cum fill my throat. He whimpered as he finished, releasing his tight grip on my hair. I swallowed before looking up at his tear-stained face. He looked down at me, panting heavily and wiping the drool from his mouth. 

“It seems I lost composure,” he panted, “I’m sorry about that.” 

My face dropped, “That was the hottest thing I think you’ve ever done.” 

Goro and I sat for a moment, baffled at the moment that just unfolded before us. He laid onto his back, spreading his arms out onto the bed. I crawled up and wrapped my arms around his sweaty body that was glistening in the TV’s light. 

“Too much?” He asked, hoping for reassurance. 

“You don’t need to second guess yourself,” I kissed his cheek, “You were perfect. This is a little.. embarrassing... but, you made me cum before you did.” 

His eyes widened, “Really? I didn’t notice that.” 

“Understandable,” I smiled, “Your eyes were busy being stuck in the back of your head.” I teased. 

Goro laughed, his cheeks growing slightly red. He played with the hair that was messily placed in front of my eyes before opening his mouth, “I’m glad we did that,” he smiled, “it was truly remarkable.” 

I smiled back, leaning in for a kiss. “Ive mean wanting to do that for a while, so thank you.” I broke the kiss. 

And with that, we let our exhaustion consume us; the game’s music looping in the background as it fell distant to our unconsciousness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was my first time writing smut like ever AHXHUDE so please let me know what else yall would like to see !!! comments and kudos always appreciated and recognized !!!
> 
> edit: i decided to rewrite some things, i wrote this at like 2am and some of the grammar was NOT it so ! anyways thank you so much for reading! ch. 8 coming soon!


	8. My Coping Mechanism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira tells Goro about how he came out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ:  
> hi everyone! so from this point forward i will be writing in 3rd person lol sorry 1st person got me a lil confused and i just like writing 3rd person better. i hope you guys dont mind<3
> 
> also— im sorry i havent updated in literal weeks; i came out to my parents and it didnt go over well. ive just been really busy being disowned and trying to deal with suicidal tendencies without help lol! heres chapter 8 i hope you enjoy<3

“You’re so goddamn clingy,” Goro attempted to peel Akira’s arms off his waist, to no avail.

“I’m affectionate; there’s a difference.” Akira hugged him tighter, taking his cheek and burying it into Goro’s neck. 

Goro smiled to himself and took a delicate sip out of his morning coffee. He shyly took his hand and placed it on top of Akira’s arms, somewhat returning the hug. He sighed, closing his eyes to the warmth of the boy’s embrace. “Your breath smells like coffee.” Akira continued. 

“Your breath smells like shit.” 

“ _You_ smell like shit.” 

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you more.”

“That sentence doesn’t even make sense, you imbecile.”

“I love you.” 

Goro couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re such an idiot.” 

“I’m _your_ idiot.” He flipped the boy’s shoulders around to face him. Goro playfully rolled his eyes, “Why are you like this?” He joked. 

“Like what?” Akira smiled, “Humorous? Charming? Witty? Everything you’ve ever wanted?” He teased back. 

“I’m choosing to ignore that,” Goro placed the coffee on the counter behind him, “But seriously. How are you so comfortable with me?” 

Akira took Goro’s hands and wrapped them around his neck, “I’m just affectionate, is all.”

“I see that,” Goro gestured to Akira’s clingy demeanor. The two boys shared a meaningless kiss that was to be parted by Goro. “I’m sorry if this is sudden,” He began, “But i’ve actually been wondering this for a while. How was it coming out?” 

Akira stiffened, “Why do you ask?” 

“You don’t have to answer. I’ve just noticed how your mother is to you and how your father isn’t around from what I see. She seemed... distant.” 

Akira paused for a moment before lowering his tone, “If I tell you, you need to promise me you won’t lash out against my mom. She’s a good person, she just has opinions and issues. Promise?” 

Goro nodded, “I promise.” 

* * *

3 years ago 

“Akira, come downstairs. We need to talk about something.” 

Akira paused his video game, “What’s up?” 

Akira’s mother shouted louder, “Get downstairs, now.” 

Akira knew better than to respond at all when his mother was like this. When she spoke in this tone she was angry, irritable, and most likely drunk. He went through a quick check in his head, _Did I do something? Maybe I said something earlier I forgot about? Did I accidentally swear in front of my mom? How have my grades been lately? Shit, I haven’t checked this week. It’s so about my grades; I’m dead._

Akira walked down the stairs, trying to act like he didn’t know what this was about. He found his mother at the table with another woman, they both waited patiently as he sat into the empty chair across from them. 

“This is Sho-kun’s mother, say hello. Don’t be a brat.” His mom sneered. 

“H-hello Sato-san,” Akira puzzled, “Is Sho okay?” 

Sho was Akira’s best friend; they spent all their time together. Akira approached him when Sho was being bullied at recess. Sho was a smaller kid, he had a gentle soul. A lot of the boys made fun of him for that, called him a crybaby or other provoking names. Sho was left crying at the buddy bench when Akira was eating cheese crackers on the other end. He offered a couple, the rest was history. 

“Sho is none of your concern,” Sato-san snapped. 

“We got a call from your school saying you two were seen holding hands at school. Is there something you would like to tell us?” His mother peered. 

“Oh,” Akira’s chest went tight, “We were just holding hands, is all. I don’t see the big deal?” He tried his best to cover up his nerves. In all honesty, Akira was in love with Sho. That is something he would never admit aloud. 

“‘Just holding hands?’ Don’t mock me. I won’t let you see my son if this continues. I don’t want him to be... sucked in by your sick perverted ways!” Sato-san looked directly into Akira’s eyes. 

“I always knew you were sick,” Akira’s mother spitted out, “But to think you’re gay? I am so disappointed. I’ll never see you the same again. You disappoint me.” 

“I... I never said I liked him-“ Akira was teary-eyed. 

“Don’t give me that _shit_! I already talked to my son, he told me everything. You’re _sick_.” Sato-san was containing the anger she had left behind her voice.

_But that doesn’t make sense_ , Akira thought. _Sho wouldn’t say anything like that_. 

“I don’t-“ 

Akira’s mom slammed her fist on the table, “Like _hell_ you don’t like him!” 

Akira flinched at the sudden slam, looking down at his fiddling hands. He started shaking, trying to hold back his tears. He gripped onto his pants, hoping it’ll help him keep his composure. “I... I don’t see what’s wrong with- l-liking another guy. It’s just th-the same as... a g-girl.”

Akira’s mother shouted louder, “So you’re telling me you like girls, too? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you really that perverted?” 

“It’s not about that,” Akira shouted back, “I c-can’t help how I feel. I’m sorry, I... I’m sorry.” Akira choked on sobs. 

“You won’t be seeing my son ever again.” Sato-san responded.

And with that, she left Akira and his mother alone. 

Drink, after drink, after drink. Her words were the same, just getting more and more slurred by the minute. 

“If you like both girls and guys, why don’t you set standards for yourself and only date women...” She spit out, pouring another drink. 

“I am in love with a man,” Akira said numbly, “Why don’t you want me to be happy?” He squeezed out of his throat. His voice was tired, his eyes hurt, and he wanted to be away. Far away, as far as he could. 

“You’re such a disappointment.” She said again, maybe the 11th time. 

Akira didn’t respond. He was numb to these words at this point. He ran out of tears, his cheeks were stained and his mouth was dry. He just sat in silence watching his mom drink herself to oblivion. 

“A disappointment...” She repeated.

* * *

Present Day

“I never saw Sho again.” Akira finished the story. 

Goro was fuming, clearly already thinking about breaking the promise they had made, “That bastard...” He managed to say. 

“It’s my fault,” Akira shrugged, “I can never keep my hands to myself. So I guess the school had an issue with that.” He joked. 

Goro clearly didn’t find that funny. His face was red, stone-cold and his ears were nearly steaming. Akira smiled and brought Goro into an embrace.

“I’m okay now, don’t worry.” 

“Why are you the one comforting me,” He almost shouted, “You go through shit here and I can do nothing about it. I’m so, so sorry.” He hugged Akira tighter. 

“I told you, it’s okay. I cope by kissing a hot detective with messy brown hair and coffee breath.” 

“You’re annoying,” Goro was muffled in Akira’s chest. 

“I’m pretty sure I need to cope right now, though.” Akira pulled Goro’s chin up to his. 

“You really need to find a healthier way of coping.” Goro leaned in, closing the gap between the two. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever need to,” Akira said in between kisses, “Is there an issue, detective?”

Goro pulled him closer, “None at all.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again! thanks so much for reading! this chapter was kinda hard for me to write so sorry if it seemed like i cut descriptions short; i hope you enjoyed<3


	9. Journal’s Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira is busy with work, not realizing he’s neglecting Goro. Goro decides to roam the house out of boredom which brings him to find Akira’s journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy feb. 2nd, everyone <3

Goro sat at the table, fiddling with his thumbs. Akira was sitting silently across him, flying through school papers. Goro spoke up, “You’ve been studying really hard today, don’t you need a break?” Akira didn’t respond, of course. It’s been like this for a couple of weeks, the last time they really spent time together was when Akira told him his short and bitter coming out story. And yes, it did bother Goro. He saw how hard Akira has been working these past couple weeks—which he was proud of, for the record. But he hated seeing Akira so stressed and distant. That wasn’t like Akira. Goro wanted to do something, anything, but all his attempts at spending time together backfired. 

“It’s getting late,” Goro attempted again. 

“Mm...” Akira mumbled. 

“Shouldn’t you get to bed?”

“No, you go ahead without me,” He finally responded, “I need to get these done.” 

Goro sat idly for a moment, looking at his dirty dish from dinner. He looked over at Akira’s to see it was barely touched. Goro slipped out of his chair and headed for the stairs. 

“Hey,” Akira grabbed Goro’s arm as he passed him, “Goodnight.”

Goro’s eyes filled with tears upon hearing those words; He looked away towards the stairs, “Yeah,” Was all he said. Goro walked up the stairs slowly, hoping Akira would say something else: ask him what’s wrong, tell him he loves him, apologize, decide to stop working, anything. Thinking back on it, he hasn’t heard Akira say the words “I love you” in a long time.

And so, Goro reached the top of the stairs. 

He looked back at Akira, who didn’t look back up at him, his nose was buried in papers. Goro walked back to their room and didn’t bother to change out of his clothes. He plopped onto the bed, prompting the springs to creak and flex. “He hasn’t said I love you,” Goro’s voice became tired and weak. Tears came flowing from his eyes, eventually bringing him to sleep. 

In the morning, Goro woke up to find himself under the covers— and alone. “I guess he’s at school,” He sighed aloud. He looked up at the ceiling and tried counting the mold stains. He has literally nothing to do, he’s technically on leave because he’s still in hiding. 

So, he’s alone. 

He just wanted to be held again, it was so weird being... cold. Akira’s such a clingy person, but stress was always easy to consume people like him. He’s a perfectionist when it comes to himself, if he’s anything less than appreciated, he’ll work himself to the bone to exceed everyone’s expectations. 

Goro looked around Akira’s room— it all made sense. At Leblanc, his attic was so lively and Akira-nized. Here, where his life is a living hell, it’s so bland. 

And a little dirty. 

Goro slipped out of bed and tied his hair back with a ponytail around his wrist. He began picking up the clothes on the floor. He vacuumed, dusted, organized, did laundry. 

“Ah shit,” He cursed, trying to reach the top of the closet’s shelf, “Where’s that damn spray?!” Eventually, his fingers caught something, what seemed to be a box. He was on his toes, reaching as far as he can to get the box down. 

“Fuck you, you tall monstrous being,” he silently cursed Akira. The box fell to the floor and threw up all the knick nacks in there. No spray.

Goro sighed, getting to his knees and cleaning up the floor again. He picked up a picture and flipped it over.

It was a picture of Goro. He was smiling, looking to the stage at the jazz club. _He must’ve taken a picture of me when I was going on a tangent about the music, classic Akira._ Goro smiled to himself again, looking through all these pictures. 

There were pictures of him and the phantom thieves: hanging out, laughing, crying, pranking. “You guys were so obvious,” Goro laughed to himself, not noticing the tears running down from his face. Goro pulled out another picture; Akira was looking at Goro, just looking. It was obvious Yusuke took this, he always had a knack for taking pictures of the most intimate moments. Goro was drinking coffee behind the counter, leaning in slightly to Akira. Akira was wearing his apron, leaning in to Goro. They were probably talking about nothing. Sometimes, they would just sit in each other’s presence, and not even notice time was flying by. 

“That gay motherfucker,” Goro sniffled, looking at how Akira’s demeanor was so obvious. It was cute. 

He removed the box to see a familiar looking journal, with his glove still inside it. Goro opened the journal to where his glove was, a note slipped out. 

_Hey, kid. Thanks for giving me this probation journal back, but I have a feeling this is really personal to you. There are so many memories in here that would do no good in my hands. I read it, don’t worry. I’m proud of ya, kid._

_Until next time,_

_Sojiro_

Goro carefully moved the note aside, grabbing his glove that was neatly placed as a bookmark. He read the top of the page,

_February 3rd, 20XX_

Goro looked up from the journal. He tried resisting the urge to read again. But what harm would it do, he misses hearing Akira’s heartfelt words, anyway. And with that, Goro inhaled deeply before reading. 

_It’s official: he’s dead. It’s all my fault. If only I was good enough back at Shido’s palace, I could’ve saved him. He probably hates me for that. He’ll never say that out loud, he probably knows seeing him die again was punishment enough. Morgana and Sojiro tried their best to help me today, and I love them for that. But nothing I could ever say or do will bring him back. I miss him, more than anything. Leaving this town, where we made our final memories together, will be the worst part of it all. I didn’t even say everything I wanted to, everything I could’ve. So, here’s my final words to you, Goro, if you’re watching over me and reading this:  
_

_There were so many things I wanted to say to you before we left. After all, I only found you were a product of my illusion yesterday. There wasn’t enough time. There’s never enough time, nothing will ever make up for the time I lost with you. What i’m trying to say is: I love you. I’ve loved you since that school trip at the TV station, asking me your inquiring questions and talking about your love for pancakes. Although you told me and Sumire— or, Kasumi at the time— that your love for sweets was fake, I never believed it for a second. I should’ve made breakfast for you once at Leblanc. I could’ve made pancakes with whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate. But I didn’t. I should’ve told you I love you. I do. I really, really love you. And if you’re watching me write this, you probably see how pathetic I look— trying to write while crying uncontrollably. You would be laughing at me in reality, or rather, the reality before it all went to shit. I want to apologize, too. Sacrificing yourself for us was challenging as it is, and my stupid brain had to go and love you enough to bring you back to life; only to lose you again. That was my fault, too. I’m so sorry, I want you back. I want to hold you and never let go, I want to tell you it’s okay, I want to share the meaningful things we shared at Leblanc._

_There’s a part of me that’s still waiting for you. I am half-expecting you to walk upstairs in my room right now, telling me it’s all a sick joke. Who am I kidding, of course I’m still waiting for you. I’ll never stop waiting for you. You are irreplaceable to me, I’ll never love anyone as much as I’ll ever love you. There’s no one else’s glove i’ll hold onto tighter than yours. There’s no one else I could think of after listening to our song on repeat. You have consumed me, I am a slave to you. I’ll keep waiting, I’m just up here in the attic if you need me. I love you.  
_

_I’ll never stop holding onto your glove,_

_Akira (your rival)._

“Goro?” A voice echoed behind Goro. 

Goro was startled, he jumped around to see Akira’s puzzled expression at the sight of him reading his journal. Akira was already home; Goro didn’t realize he’d been cleaning the house for that long, or he had been crying for longer than he realized. He was still knelt to the ground, the scattered pictures on the floor surrounding him. The glove was in his left hand, the journal was in the other.

“Woah,” Akira knelt down to him, “What’s going on?” Akira looked into the journal, realizing what he just read.

“Why have you been ignoring me,” Goro sobbed. 

“Wh-... ignoring you?” Akira’s voice was soft, “Come here, talk to me.” Akira opened his arms for Goro to fall into place there. 

Goro held onto him, “I’ve been so... cold,” He sniffled, “I know you’ve been working really hard, B-but...” Goro couldn’t finish the sentence. 

Akira held him tight, “I’m so, so, sorry. I have been working really hard on looking into these apartments for us, and I totally neglected you. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I love you... so, so much.” Goro felt Akira’s tears against his cheek. 

Goro parted from Akira, “A-apartments?” 

“Yeah, of course,” He wiped away Goro’s tears with his thumb, “You didn’t think we were gonna keep living here, did you?”

“B-but your mom-“ 

“Fuck her, she’s never around anyways. She won’t even notice we’re gone.” Akira smiled, kissing Goro’s tear stained face. 

“I miss you,” Goro cried, his voice breaking.

“I miss you, too.” Akira explored his face, kissing every square inch of him. 

“I don’t want to... b-be a burden for you, I-I’ve already... caused you s-so much-... pain.” Goro sobbed, referring to the journal entry. 

“Hey,” Akira moved away from Goro’s face, looking into his eyes, “You have never been and never will be a burden to me. I love you, and we’re going to get out of here and be happy.” 

Goro nodded, still crying. Akira pondered a moment before standing up. Goro looked up, “Wh-where are you going?” His heart sank a little, watching him leave. 

“Don’t worry, I’m staying.” He said, turning on his bluetooth speaker. 

Their song played: Dreamflower. Akira took Goro’s hand and helped him stand up. Goro wiped his nose, his face red at the vulnerability he’s showing to Akira right now. Akira brought Goro in by his waist, then took Goro’s arms and wrapped them around his neck. He took Goro’s head and brought it close to his chest. 

“Dance with me.” Akira said softly. 

Goro smiled, swaying back and forth with him to their song. “This reminds me of the first day I took you to the Jazz Club. Do you remember that?” 

“I replay that moment in my head all day,” Akira responded, kissing the top of Goro’s head. He felt Goro’s blush against his chest. 

“I’m taking the day off tomorrow, I’ll call in sick. Okay?” Akira said again. 

“You don’t have to do that, this is all I need.” 

“Too bad, I’m doing it.” 

Goro didn’t say anything, instead, he opened his mouth to relive that special moment, “I think this song is my favorite.” 

Akira smiled, remembering, “Yes, it’s quite nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i hope you enjoyed this chapter, love you all! thanks for readinggg<3

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone !!! <3 thank you so much for reading my fanfic, please comment any tips you have for me to make the story more enjoyable- or things you would like to see more of!


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